Unconventional Pets

My youngest son absolutely loves to capture everything from worms to ants to ladybugs. He puts them in a little plastic container and always asks what the critter needs for his home and food. I'm often amazed at just how much care he takes of his critter and how well he keeps up with it and carries it around with him everywhere he goes. Of course, there always comes the day when the little critter just can't survive another day in confinement and either escapes or just dies. AJ is usually pretty good with accepting these natural consequences and goes on to find his next victim; um, I mean, pet. This is probably one of the many areas that AJ is at a disadvantage being the youngest of 4 children. We have been through so many "pets"....cats, hamsters, gerbils, fish, etc. But, they all just seem to come and go and are always way more effort to maintain that I ever imagined possible. So, at this point, I'm incredibly resistant to anymore of those "disposable" pets. We have a black lab and that just seems like plenty to me. So my guess is AJ is fulfilling his desires for a pet by capturing any little small creature he can find.

This weekend's pet was a ladybug. It was a pale yellow ladybug that was named "Him". Him was special and much different than any of the past critters because AJ felt perfectly comfortable taking Him out and allowing Him to crawl all over his body. Throughout the day today AJ spent time playing with his little ladybug and would then safely store Him back in his container. I was actually quite fascinated watching it happen and thought to myself that a ladybug appeared to the world's greatest pet for a 4 yr old.

And it really was a fantastic idea. I've never seen a little boy have more fun with a critter than AJ had with Him UNTIL........tragedy struck. Him was happily crawling all over AJ's arm while AJ giggled with happiness. At that point Paige bumped into AJ causing Him to fall to the ground causing a good bit of conflict between the two of them resulting in Him being squished. Oh what a terribly sad moment for us all. Emotions among the kids ran the gamut....sadness, guilt, empathy; but they all came together to support AJ during this great tragedy. Kaeli suggested we take Him out and bury him, but AJ refused. Instead Him had a very indignant burial in the toilet. After several minutes calm returned to our household and we all got back to normal routine.

Ten to fifteen minutes later I had already moved on to other things like folding laundry when AJ came into the laundry room and said "mommy, I need to tell you a secret". I bent down so that he could easily reach my ear and he whispered "I had so much fun with my ladybug, I miss him". What a sweet, sweet little boy!!! I just gave him a huge hug and promised we would try to find another ladybug very soon.

Two Down, Two to Go

2 years ago Kaeli, my oldest daughter, confronted me with the idea that she didn't believe in bunnies that bring gifts and candy to sleeping children on Easter. You can read all about that experience here.

Tonight it was Paige's turn to get in on the fun. Kaeli has been an amazing little helper the past couple of years with each of the holidays and seems to love it. Once I thought the 3 younger kids were asleep Kaeli came down and we discussed our game plan. Paige walked to the top of the stairs with a smile on her face asking why Kaeli was down here. She saw a few empty plastic eggs and paper that would hold "clues". (The Easter Bunny hides the filled Easter Baskets and then leaves clues in plastic eggs). Paige is a smart little girl and there's no doubt she had put it all together....but she's also not one to just confront a situation. I knew I'd have to just ask her outright if she believes in the Easter Bunny. Very matter-of-factly she simply said "no".

She and I went into the bedroom to talk more because I didn't want to risk the boys overhearing our conversation. It was then that I learned she hasn't believed in anything for at least a year now!! I still can't explain why, but my eyes filled with tears. At that point Kaeli walked in and said "Paige, don't worry, she cried when I found out, too". She walked over and put her arms around me to give me a hug. I have never laughed so hard as I did when she then said "Mom, you are SUCH a loser for crying about this stuff". But I know it was said with lots of love. ;)

It really was such a special moment as I sat there laughing and crying with 2 of my girls. It's a very bittersweet rite of passage I think. For me it feels like my children suddenly age by years instead of minutes....and lose a large part of childhood innocence. The innocence of believing, without question, that there is this magic in the world that defies all logic and allows for bunnies, santas, and tooth fairies. I guess a part of me just ponders the question "Is this the moment when we begin questioning everything in life that doesn't make perfect sense logically?" No, I do not believe that the moment of discovery precipitates this shift in thinking. Instead, I think it's the shift that leads to the doubts in the first place. And, at the risk of sounding somewhat ridiculous to some, it feels to me that when I confirm the doubts I have taken my child by the hand and walked them across the threshold from childhood innocence to adulthood skepticism.

On a lighter note, though, it has been so much fun allowing my daughters to help keep the magic alive just a bit longer for the two boys.

It's the Simple Things

It has been well over a year since I last created a new blog post, but today I had a revelation. The revelation occurred as I sat on a slab of concrete next to a small lake near our house and watched 3 of my 4 children catch tadpoles with their hands. Catching tadpoles was not on my "list" of what we were going to do this afternoon. In fact, it was with reluctance that I even agreed to take them on a bike ride because that was also not on my to do list.

My plan for this bike ride was to get to the park, get a little exercise, and get back home. Basically, just do it so that the kids would finally stop asking to go on a bike ride. But, that's not exactly how it took place.

First of all, my 6 yr old fell off his bike halfway to the playground. He tried very hard to be tough and not cry at first. But, when the blood started flowing so did the tears. I stood there, helpless, not sure what I should do. We were half a mile from the house with nothing to ease the pain or stop the blood. As I contemplated my options I looked up to see a man walking out of his house with peroxide, paper towels, and bandaids. Such an amazingly simple act of kindness. But, one that changed the course of our whole afternoon. As I began doctoring my son the man said "you are one tough little guy, you got quite a scrape there". Simple words, but my son's posture and demeanor immediately went from that of defeat to confidence. He suddenly became confident that he could deal with the pain and climb back on the bike. After profusely thanking this good samaritan we all climbed back on our bikes and continued on toward the playground. I'm quite certain that anonymous man will forever be a part of my children's memories. I know I will never pass by that house again without remembering how such a simple act of kindness changed my entire day.

We continue on to the playground where I had a mini-revelation. My kids are growing up quickly....too quickly!! Just last summer I was lamenting that I couldn't be one of those parents that just sat on a bench watching their children play. AJ was only 3 and I still needed to be right there following him and watching him to redirect or help him as needed. Today I sat on a park bench playing on my phone, facebooking.....dare I say I felt BORED?? Yes, I was bored. That is NOT how I pictured this moment. I was obviously bored enough to suggest to the kids that we get on our bikes and take a ride around the lake.

Fortunately they were all for that idea. And because of my mini-revelation I wasn't the least bit reluctant when they asked if we could stop to catch minnows. I was no longer in a hurry to get back to my to-do list. Of course, with my practical adult mind, I did ask how they were going to catch minnows without a net. My 8 yr old daughter quickly responded by saying "with our hands!!" Who am I to argue with that logic?!

I instinctively took my seat on a slab of concrete and it was at that moment that I had my biggest revelation of the day. I found a comfortable place to sit because I knew that my kids would be here a while. How did I know that? Because first of all, there were no minnows, there were only tadpoles. When you slow down enough to see life through a child's eyes you realize that there are no challenges, no obstacles....no lists and no preconceived notions; there are only new discoveries to be made. Instead of feeling disappointed that they didn't find the minnows they were looking for, my kids were excited to just catch tadpoles.

I am so grateful to my children!! They force me to slow down enough to see the world in all its simplicity. And it's only through that simplicity that I realize what happiness is all about. My guess is that if a child could put "happiness" into words they would tell you that it's all about appreciating the here and now....and forgetting about what you HOPE or EXPECT to happen and just enjoy what is actually happening.