A poignant moment

I really think it's possible Aaron has the flu. If it's not the flu, it's definitely the most sick he's ever been in his short little life. When he woke up this morning I still needed to dry my hair. I laid him on my bed while I finished. Steve walked in to say goodbye before leaving for work. He commented on how Aaron was just laying there waiting so patiently and we both laughed--assuming he was still waking up. When I finished drying my hair I went over and gave him a little kiss (because he just looked so sweet laying there). I noticed he was pretty warm and then when I looked into his eyes I knew he was sick. Somehow it's just always obvious in the eyes. Sure enough his temperature was 102. I put him in a chair downstairs and he pretty much stayed in that spot until we took the girls to school. He ended sleeping most of the day. When he wasn't sleeping he lay quietly wherever I put him. He did get up and walk around a little, but not much. At one point he even fell asleep in my arms. I have to say, since he's my last, it was a wonderful moment for me. At almost 18 mos he's not often still enough to let me hold him for more than a few minutes--much less long enough to fall asleep in my arms. Fortunately, the girls were at school and Ryan was napping. I sat there rocking him for a long time and savoring the moment. I thought back to when he was a tiny baby and I would get so frustrated because I *HAD* to keep rocking him. He would fight sleep and keep opening his little eyes. I remember feeling so impatient and frustrated because he wouldn't go into a deep enough sleep for me to lay him down. It's been less than a year ago and I already miss those days! Today I sat there and watched him fight sleep just like he did when he was a baby. But, this time tears stung my eyes as I realized what a special moment this was. These are fleeting moments now. The opportunity to hold my baby and watch him drift off to sleep is becoming few and far between. Unfortunately, it only happens now when he's sick. What a way to be hit with reality and realize I don't want him to grow up too fast. He's at an age now that can be very trying. I find myself often wishing he was just a little older. But, I know I'm going to miss these days. I just can't believe how quickly they grow up and how quickly we miss some of the most difficult moments.

I don't medicate for a fever unless it's over 102 so he went most of the day without anything. I do that because I know the body is doing what it's supposed to do when it runs a fever. But, tonight his temp reached 102.3. At that point I decided he could use something just to make him more comfortable. I gave him a dose of Motrin and put him to bed. That was about 4 hours ago. I have this very strong urge to go pick him up and just hold him. There's just something about seeing them so sick at this age---you just want them right next to you.